Tag: relationships

A Person’s Worth (Thoughts on Relationships and One’s Value)

I told myself that from now on, I will only ship real life couples. And not just real life ones but those who present exemplary values, both as individuals and as a couple. (I can hear some of my friends snorting at me for being *too* idealistic again but as I believe, ideals are hard to achieve but not impossible.)

Continue reading “A Person’s Worth (Thoughts on Relationships and One’s Value)”

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That Happy Ever After

If there is one movie which all the songs in the soundtrack I love, that would be Enchanted. It’s so funny because during this time, Grey’s Anatomy is really popular and well, Patrick Dempsey IS popular; but I only appreciated his being (Mc)dreamy after this movie. (Then Made of Honor came and so on and so forth… Though I find him attractive on both movies, McDreamy is not for me in the long run. But that’s another story to tell.)

Anyway, the scene below is my favourite! It’s bittersweet though, having to think all along that some Prince Charming is meant for you until you met someone whom you grew affections for, not because he’s perfect but because he’s just himself and you love it. Sometimes I’d believe meant-to-bes are intentional, ya know, for it involves choices. But again that’s another story (so many side stories, pardon.)

A life goes by
Romantic dreams will stop
So I bid mine goodbye and never knew
So close was waiting, waiting here with you
And now forever I know
All that I wanted to hold you so close

Those are my favourite lyrics from my favourite song in the soundtrack. It speaks about the reality of every relationship that though we want perfect, there are some challenges and there are some things you don’t/won’t like while you’re in it. That eventually, you need to make a choice about what you would be able to live up with and accept wholeheartedly. Sometimes you thought you don’t have a choice anymore. But that’s just what you thought.

That like in the movie, Giselle was surprised by the bustling streets of NYC, not finding the perfection of (animated) Andalasia. That she realised Prince Edward, no matter how perfect he seems, may not be the perfect fit for her. That she learned there is a Robert Phillip, who is real and with whom she is willing to work things out with no matter what the circumstances. That she thought there is no chance for them to be together because Edward is there, but then her life did not depend on Edward after all. And that she can choose and stand by that choice.

I think I need to re-watch the movie. But today’s a Thursday so it might need to wait one more day. ๐Ÿ™‚

Of Parents and Chocolates

Who says chocolates are only for kids? Lovers? Sweet tooth?

Well, I bet not. Even your mom will love it!

One night last week, I bought two boxes of chocolates for my mother as a promise. Oh well, she has a sweet tooth so I told her I’m bringing her something the week after… And of course, we kids, when we grow up, should stay true to our promises so I bought her some…

Royce
Who says the homies don't appreciate these? ๐Ÿ™‚

I thought, “I’m gonna be broke until the next pay day and I would be consuming my savings already!” but til now, my budget’s still intact. ๐Ÿ™‚ Besides, what is spending a few bucks for your mother (or parents, if my father’s here as well)?

If we could spend a whole looooooooooooooot of money on gimmicks, gadgets, accessories, shopping, dates, and other whatevers, why should it be so hard for us to spend some to see our parents happy? It is not that we are obliged to do it for them but let us do it out of love for the ones who loved us when we don’t know it yet.

On a final note, I would just like to share this verse to everyone,

“”Honor your father and mother”โ€”which is the first commandment with a promise-” Ephesians 6:2, NIV

And even if we receive no promise, we should never deprive our parents of anything. They deserve to be treated by us, their little ones, who have grown so fast. Let us spoil them from time to time and see those happy smiles in their faces. ๐Ÿ™‚

Underrated

Ever since I was a kid, I have known that the love life is really among the surfacing areas of my life in which I would want to give glory to the Lord. Even if there was a time when I was bound into the thinking that when I reach 15 “maybe I would already have a boyfriend” as if by that age, I am ready enough to face the responsibilities of a romantic relationship.

I came past 15 years old. I had my 18th birthday but still, no boyfriend has come my way. As being a normal human being, there would be times when I felt lonesome and undeserving. Although people see me as someone strong and someone not really bothered by being single-when-everyone-else-has-a-boyfriend, they never really found out how much struggle I am having inside thinking that I am no good for anyone else and that no one would really take me as I am.

I was already a believer during those times of struggle with myself on my life’s romantic segment (Hehe! What a great term to use, as if I am a tapeworm. OK, kidding, let’s get serious again.) I know God loves me but that sometimes was not enough of an assurance since God’s love is for everybody. Although many people think I do, I never really understand love the way it should be understood.

But God works in ways which could possibly not cross our minds. His grace encompasses all our shortcomings and limitations that I can say I was really captured by that love so real, I suddenly came to the realization that my ways are not His, and my thoughts aren’t either; that human will is powerful but not enough to get you through at times especially when the one you are against with is yourself. You need God. I needed Him like a helpless little creature; I need Him til now.

I thank God for keeping me. I was a witness for lives which were distracted (not destroyed because I believe in hope) because they did not allow God to take over – it’s either they thought I-could-do-this-I-have-self-control or they thought waiting is underrated; why not seize the day when you have all the chances on your hands? or I-was-forced-I-had-no-choice. But in all these excuses, they could have had a way out or could have had not fan the flame which came in uncontrollably.

Lots of them – people from my family whom I never thought could do it, did it; friends with which I shared those prayers with, asking God to see us through as we lift Him up in the area of our love life; school mates who were promising enough and who no one thought thinks about getting into such involvement; people from church whom I grew up with; people from school who are waaaaay younger than I am… The list is endless. There could have been more people I know who might be thinking that waiting is underrated and/or is not a sign of true love but of weakness and loser-ness, who has done it, of which I am not aware about; and they are just about in every corner of my eye.

It’s painful seeing these people I know decide for themselves to do such (or even if they would just say everything just happened, it is still saddening as it could be) outside its proper design by the Great Designer but I very well know that anger, or blame, is never the solution for me to get through them but love is – together with a prayer that someday, somehow, they would come to realize that waiting is never obsolete; and not all trends should be followed but challenged.

***

This blog entry was inspired by my friend Dianne‘s status message in Facebook which says that waiting is not my fave thing to do!” which I counter-reacted with my Twitter entry saying that “believes waiting is an art. It may be tiresome, involve lotsa pain but in the end, you will find out what great masterpiece you could produce with it.”

Also, saw Josh HarrisTwitter where there will be a documentary which MTV will make on the purity movement where they are looking for ENGAGED couples saving first kiss on the altar. I’ve seen some replies from people from Facebook (some of them are testimonies from people who actually did save their first kiss until their I dos) and those were awesome! True proof that even if the world want us to take in what it dictates, we can definitely take a stand and make a choice. ๐Ÿ˜‰

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Marriage Counseling 101

I don’t wanna fight with you; I want to fight for you.

– Karlo Panahon, over lunch in Unit 703 pantry while sharing to us one of his and his wife’s exchanges once they had a fight

Hahaha! I hope he won’t track this one.:P But this line from him made us swoon over lunch. Well, I can’t react well, though, because I have to conserve my voice and I can’t speak well (or this goes the other way around)

One good thing about eating with your colleagues in the office is the sharing. And early this day, with Karlo being a senior to us, we have learned a few things about relationship and marriage (which is always the main topic of the main exchanges we are having with a few friends in the office)

Anyway, here are a few thoughts I have learned and well, safe to say, believed all my life (I’m talking about heterosexual relationships here):

1. Man and woman have equal roles in a relationship. No one is greater than the other. However, their roles are different, and one should not assume what the other’s is.

2. Men are made to initiate (therefore they should not overdo the self-pitying and stop playing mama’s boy) and take the lead, women to respond (therefore, they should not act as if they are the men). It does not mean that women do not have the ability to speak for themselves but the more we take the other’s role in a relationship, the more we end up ruining each other. (for complimentary reading, I suggest you try reading Wild at Heart by John Eldredge and Captivating by John and Stacy Eldredge)

3. Singlehood should be spent with a purpose. And even if men are afraid of commitment, like women, there will come a time when they have exhausted everything they need to do alone, that they would think about getting married.

4. But marriage is not without its responsibilities.ย  The declaration of getting married should not just pop out of your head in a blink of an eye but it should be a manifestation that you are really ready to spend a lifetime with someone else, and you have to be ready – spiritually, emotionally, physically, and financially (yeah, you don’t leave out any of these behind).

5. Differences are not inreconcilable at all. You just have to choose to reconcile it. Like, hey! Men and women are created differently and that’s exciting. You do not burden yourself with each other’s own uniqueness.

6. Partners should learn to keep up with each other; or simply, to deal with each other well and learn to understand each other no matter how snotty your partner is. That should not be that complicated.

Another colleague of mine, Kaye, mentioned that we should meet Karlo’s wife and together, theyย  should conduct a marriage counseling for us kids. Hehe.

After that talk, well, maybe most of us realized, we’re not yet ready for this one but in time, we will. Fervent prayers and wisdom are necessary, though.;)