Tag: letting go

Letting Go, Apology, and Forgiveness

It was a rainy mid-week. Met up with a friend since my Mom and my brother are out in a seminar and my sister is on her mid-shift. Caught up with the long line in the shuttle station due to the drizzle. While waiting in the line, I was exchanging messages with a friend about this particular book I asked her to read. Since this book has a movie version, aside from discussion, she is planning to watch the movie because she was quite puzzled with the ending. I told her we should watch together because I am afraid it might be too visual that I can’t watch it alone. Promised myself that upon going home, I’m gonna check my movies and save them on my hard drive so that we can watch the movie adaptation during the weekend.

Then I opened the common PC in the house to check my files.

Clicked Drive D. Cannot find my folder. Cannot even find my ‘New Folder’ folder.

Dreading evening.

 

I sent a message to my brother asking him where my files were but he wasn’t answering. Sent him another message because aside from the movies, I need to check on my old files. He told me the virus erased everything.

 

Good grief.

 

Of course I was irritated. I am kind of OC so I keep track and label all my files for future use or reference. I told my brother he could have told me that those files were gone so I would not have assumed all the time that I have them yet they are not there anymore.

 

Then he said sorry.

 

Then I am fine already.

 

I think it just takes a little bit of swallowing your pride when you do something wrong. Knowing my brother, it was not easy for him to do that. But he did. And I believe everyone could. If we let humility take over our selfishness.

 

As for me, I need to learn to let go of things. Those files that were gone may be important but I believe everything in this world has an end. This is a first step for me. To learn to let go. Because things can break. One can lose things. And too much attachment can make anyone insane. And I personally do not want give more importance to things over people and relationships that matter.

I still feel regretful of the corrupted files. But it will give me less things to cling on to. And it made me realise how important my brother is and his apology over what has happened.

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In the Season of Letting Go and Letting God

This is (actually) the second song that occurred to me. I just normally listen to it as I am trying to fall asleep or on my way to work but somehow, it made an impact when I was having a super busy first work day. (Click on the title to listen to the video link of the song on YouTube.)

24
Switchfoot

Twenty-four oceans, twenty-four skies
Twenty-four failures and twenty-four tries
Twenty-four finds me in twenty-fourth place
With twenty-four drop-outs at the end of the day

Life is not what I thought it was twenty-four hours ago
I’m still singing ‘Spirit, take me up in arms with You’
And I’m not who I thought I was twenty-four hours ago
Still I’m singing ‘Spirit, take me up in arms with You’

There’s twenty-four reasons to admit that I’m wrong
With all my excuses still twenty-four strong

See, I’m not copping out
Not copping out, not copping out
When You’re raising the dead in me

Oh, oh, I am the second man
Oh, oh, I am the second man now
Oh, I am the second man 
And You’re raising these

Twenty-four voices with twenty-four hearts
All of my symphonies in twenty-four parts
But I want to be one today centered and true
I’m singing ‘Spirit, take me up in arms with You’
You’re raising the dead in me

Oh, oh, I am the second man
Oh, oh, I am the second man now
Oh, I am the second man 
And You’re raising the dead in me, yeah, yeah

I wanna see miracles to see the world change
Wrestled the angel for more than a name
For more than a feeling, for more than a cause
I’m singing ‘Spirit, take me up in arms with You’
And You’re raising the dead in me

Twenty-four oceans with twenty-four hearts
(Oh, oh, I am the second man)
(Oh, oh, I am the second man)
All of my symphonies with twenty-four parts
(Oh, oh, I am the second man)
(And You’re raising the dead in me)

Life is not what I thought it was twenty-four hours ago
(Oh, oh, I am the second man)
(Oh, oh, I am the second man)
Still I’m singing, ‘Spirit, take me up in arms with You’
(Oh, oh, I am the second man)
(And You’re raising the dead in me)

I’m not copping out
(Oh, oh, I am the second man)
Not copping out
(Oh, oh, I am the second man)
Not, not copping out
(Oh, oh, I am the second man)

***

As per Jon Foreman (Switchfoot’s vocalist and composer of the song):

“I wrote this song near the end of my 24th year on this planet. Wherever we run, wherever the sun finds us when he rises, we remain stuck with ourselves. That can be overwhelming. Sometimes I feel like my soul is polluted with politicians, each with a different point of view. With all 24 of them in disagreement, each voice is yelling to be heard. And so I am divided against myself. I feel that I am a hypocrite until I am one, when all of the yelling inside of me dies down. I’ve heard that the truth will set you free. That’s what I’m living for: freedom of spirit. I find unity and peace in none of the diversions that this world offers. But I’ve seen glimpses of truth and that’s where I want to run.”

We need not 24 to have such realization. Life isn’t about just us. 🙂