Ever since I was a kid, I have known that the love life is really among the surfacing areas of my life in which I would want to give glory to the Lord. Even if there was a time when I was bound into the thinking that when I reach 15 “maybe I would already have a boyfriend” as if by that age, I am ready enough to face the responsibilities of a romantic relationship.
I came past 15 years old. I had my 18th birthday but still, no boyfriend has come my way. As being a normal human being, there would be times when I felt lonesome and undeserving. Although people see me as someone strong and someone not really bothered by being single-when-everyone-else-has-a-boyfriend, they never really found out how much struggle I am having inside thinking that I am no good for anyone else and that no one would really take me as I am.
I was already a believer during those times of struggle with myself on my life’s romantic segment (Hehe! What a great term to use, as if I am a tapeworm. OK, kidding, let’s get serious again.) I know God loves me but that sometimes was not enough of an assurance since God’s love is for everybody. Although many people think I do, I never really understand love the way it should be understood.
But God works in ways which could possibly not cross our minds. His grace encompasses all our shortcomings and limitations that I can say I was really captured by that love so real, I suddenly came to the realization that my ways are not His, and my thoughts aren’t either; that human will is powerful but not enough to get you through at times especially when the one you are against with is yourself. You need God. I needed Him like a helpless little creature; I need Him til now.
I thank God for keeping me. I was a witness for lives which were distracted (not destroyed because I believe in hope) because they did not allow God to take over – it’s either they thought I-could-do-this-I-have-self-control or they thought waiting is underrated; why not seize the day when you have all the chances on your hands? or I-was-forced-I-had-no-choice. But in all these excuses, they could have had a way out or could have had not fan the flame which came in uncontrollably.
Lots of them – people from my family whom I never thought could do it, did it; friends with which I shared those prayers with, asking God to see us through as we lift Him up in the area of our love life; school mates who were promising enough and who no one thought thinks about getting into such involvement; people from church whom I grew up with; people from school who are waaaaay younger than I am… The list is endless. There could have been more people I know who might be thinking that waiting is underrated and/or is not a sign of true love but of weakness and loser-ness, who has done it, of which I am not aware about; and they are just about in every corner of my eye.
It’s painful seeing these people I know decide for themselves to do such (or even if they would just say everything just happened, it is still saddening as it could be) outside its proper design by the Great Designer but I very well know that anger, or blame, is never the solution for me to get through them but love is – together with a prayer that someday, somehow, they would come to realize that waiting is never obsolete; and not all trends should be followed but challenged.
This blog entry was inspired by my friend Dianne‘s status message in Facebook which says that “waiting is not my fave thing to do!” which I counter-reacted with my Twitter entry saying that “believes waiting is an art. It may be tiresome, involve lotsa pain but in the end, you will find out what great masterpiece you could produce with it.”
Also, saw Josh Harris‘ Twitter where there will be a documentary which MTV will make on the purity movement where they are looking for ENGAGED couples saving first kiss on the altar. I’ve seen some replies from people from Facebook (some of them are testimonies from people who actually did save their first kiss until their I dos) and those were awesome! True proof that even if the world want us to take in what it dictates, we can definitely take a stand and make a choice. 😉