Marriage Counseling 101

I don’t wanna fight with you; I want to fight for you.

– Karlo Panahon, over lunch in Unit 703 pantry while sharing to us one of his and his wife’s exchanges once they had a fight

Hahaha! I hope he won’t track this one.:P But this line from him made us swoon over lunch. Well, I can’t react well, though, because I have to conserve my voice and I can’t speak well (or this goes the other way around)

One good thing about eating with your colleagues in the office is the sharing. And early this day, with Karlo being a senior to us, we have learned a few things about relationship and marriage (which is always the main topic of the main exchanges we are having with a few friends in the office)

Anyway, here are a few thoughts I have learned and well, safe to say, believed all my life (I’m talking about heterosexual relationships here):

1. Man and woman have equal roles in a relationship. No one is greater than the other. However, their roles are different, and one should not assume what the other’s is.

2. Men are made to initiate (therefore they should not overdo the self-pitying and stop playing mama’s boy) and take the lead, women to respond (therefore, they should not act as if they are the men). It does not mean that women do not have the ability to speak for themselves but the more we take the other’s role in a relationship, the more we end up ruining each other. (for complimentary reading, I suggest you try reading Wild at Heart by John Eldredge and Captivating by John and Stacy Eldredge)

3. Singlehood should be spent with a purpose. And even if men are afraid of commitment, like women, there will come a time when they have exhausted everything they need to do alone, that they would think about getting married.

4. But marriage is not without its responsibilities.  The declaration of getting married should not just pop out of your head in a blink of an eye but it should be a manifestation that you are really ready to spend a lifetime with someone else, and you have to be ready – spiritually, emotionally, physically, and financially (yeah, you don’t leave out any of these behind).

5. Differences are not inreconcilable at all. You just have to choose to reconcile it. Like, hey! Men and women are created differently and that’s exciting. You do not burden yourself with each other’s own uniqueness.

6. Partners should learn to keep up with each other; or simply, to deal with each other well and learn to understand each other no matter how snotty your partner is. That should not be that complicated.

Another colleague of mine, Kaye, mentioned that we should meet Karlo’s wife and together, they  should conduct a marriage counseling for us kids. Hehe.

After that talk, well, maybe most of us realized, we’re not yet ready for this one but in time, we will. Fervent prayers and wisdom are necessary, though.;)

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