Desires, Fear, Risks, Change

Note: Coherence is irrelevant in this post. Pardon the author.

***

I have been through a lot lately – well, not exactly a lot as people would assume it to be but I am having a lot of realizations despite my being out of the loop because I have been craving for sleep most of the time.

I have had plans which I thought would push through but then again I have also encountered changes which I haven’t expected to happen.

I have been seeing several beautiful things happening for people around me. Of course, it would be a lie to say that I don’t feel even the slightest envy on what they have achieved because I wanted it to happen for myself and I want to make it happen for the people around me. Sometimes I would ask myself if I am just afraid of taking risks or if I am not capable enough of achieving what they can. But then, my happiness for these people who are able to do so is not unreal.

With those things said, though, I only want a simple life. But before settling into simplicity, I want to challenge myself and try reaching greater heights.

I came across my message archive a while ago and remembered the beautiful exchanges I have had with a friend, who I would leave unnamed for the moment. This was during the time I was experiencing the problem that is burn out. I hope once she finds out, she will not mind my sharing of her story. More than a friend, she has become an elder sister to me, and all her advices have become lessons and inspirations for me until now.

***

She is a pampered princess. She grew not lacking anything, and even during the time she started working, she was really earning big time! I can attest to that because I got to know her for quite a time already.

But then again, she was not happy. She even told me that working for a service-oriented type of establishment has been a humbling experience for her to the point that she would help her crew with even the most menial tasks. At the end of the day, though, the only question she would as herself is “Do I like what I am doing?” Despite being dead tired physically and mentally, money has been lacking! She used to receive a minimum of  Php 20,000 without her other incentives and suddenly, she would receive Php 4,300 which isn’t even enough for the payment of all her utilities.

What she told me is I should not hold myself just because I am earning high. Like her, she is doing what she does because she enjoys it, she is learning so much not just with the job but with the people she is with.

The best thing I heard from her is I should not be afraid to start from the beginning. Logically, it would put to waste everything that I have already accomplished but a beginning is always a given chance so it should not be wasted. That it’s harder to look back and regret the things you didn’t try doing just because you were afraid.

She also told me that if I won’t be able to buy another pair of Charles & Keith or that new dress from Zara or Mango, so what? It couldn’t give me joy in the long run because I can only find that in simple things (Note: I know she’s not being bitter here because I know she has had a lot!) It would be really hard at first especially when people around you would brag about their latest gadget purchase, their latest travel, or their latest boytoy (LOL on this) when you can’t even afford to buy yourself a tall order of frapuccino. As she said, there isn’t a piece of clothing that doesn’t wear out, a gadget that won’t get wrecked, or a place you can’t go to in the future.

Right now, she is thankful that she had and has a choice. She has no qualms or complains whatsoever, only gratefulness for everything she has been through and everything she has right now.

***

I’m thankful there are still people like her who has learned a lot about life and is not afraid to share it with such a kid as me; that there are still people like her who has found the joy of and in living simply. I still have a lot to go through and still have a lot to learn. But I will always cherish these words from my dearest sister.

Remembering My First University Crush

Last week, UPCAT results were released. Of course, a lot of people had some time reminiscing about the time they first set their foot in the university. And I was one of them.

*segway*

My parents did not like me attending UP, particularly the Diliman campus. For them, there is too much liberation and I may get corrupted. I insisted; not because I want to be corrupted (LOL) but because it has been where I wanted to study. Ever since. And this was something I prayed for so hard and I just knew I will qualify, and when I did, there’s no point of letting it go.

*end of segway*

I have lots of fond memories of UP. ☺ I never regretted that I chose to study here. Meet a lot of people, learned a lot, had a different look on things… Another thing that I would always remember is my first college crush. Hahaha. Geez.

It was the second day of classes. I was terribly lost in the university, I did not attend my classes the first day because we had a college orientation (You know, akala mo parang high school lang na excuse ka sa klase kapag may orientation kayo. So I wasn’t worried. Yun pala grounds yun for cancellation of your slot in the class. #afraid) I didn’t attend my first class on the second day, too, dahil sa maling akala (E mas strict pala si prof ko sa Soc Sci 2! Buti na lang she let it pass.) so I just attended my second class after the university orientation  - Math 17.

So I was there, riding the Toki jeep going to Math. When it was time for us to get off the jeep, the guy I was seated across to, being his most un-gentleman self went off before me. (I don’t know with the other women but I still value chivalry, thank you.) Walang pansintabi. Talagang mahangos ang pagbaba niya e hindi naman oras ng klase nun para siya magmadali.

Then the person beside him was Jansport (this is my/our code name for him because it’s the bag he uses). I was too disappointed with kuya 1 pero Jansport, making me get off first in a way I can’t explain, did it all to make my mood shift. Hehe. Ang hayskul nito ano pero natuwa ako sa ginawa niya.

So I found out he’s a freshman, too. He was also having his Math 17 class on the room next to mine and he’s from Engineering because that section was reserved for several Engineering blocks. (Not that I researched for it a. It was from kwentos from my classmates since our section is a mix of people from different colleges. And I’m not making excuses or reasons. Hehe. #defensive)

All throughout the semester, we would be riding the same jeep off Math. Or I will pass by him in the building while we were waiting for the class before ours be dismissed. It was extended because I failed Math 17 during the first take. I assumed he also failed because I saw him on a Math 17 class the following semester, too. Hahaha!

Semesters passed. I would sometimes see him all over the place. If I remember it right, we were even introduced to each other by a friend’s friend he was with when me and my friend watched a Maroons game in Araneta. But the rain was heavy then, I didn’t caught his name.

And I never found it out.

Last Friday of the Year

Been kinda masipag with writing these days because it seems like a lot of things are happening everywhere. Geez. It’s just the beginning of 2012 but… Well, I’m not complaining, just stating a fact.

Anyway, before we welcomed the year, I celebrated a year-end party with my PFG friends. Not our usual celebration which involves an overnight pigging-out party somewhere in Ortigas. Hehe. But yeah, we still pigged out but something important also happened.

We all decided to meet up in UP (a little background about how PFG came about here), particularly in AS so that we could easily find one another. Four of us, Yan, Joy, Marife, and me decided to meet earlier (but it never happened lol) to prepare something for Kuya Mike and Lei – that is, because something is happening. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHH!!!

Well, we managed to be early. We were texting the couple but neither was replying only Lei replied; however, we can’t determine if it’s time for us to go to AS yet. We still went hoping that what should be done was done when we arrive so that our “plan” wouldn’t fail.

Happy Pepero Day!

LATE POST!

Me and my sibs love chocolate and this one item is among those. (EDIT: Yeah, this is not chocolate but our loves – Regular, which is the chocolate -flavored variety and the Almond variant which HAS chocolate. Ok, enough. )

Why celebrate Pepero day? More of that here. This may be a commercial event and we’re just going along it but for us, siblings, it’s about sharing something all of us have in common (well aside from a lot of things WE HAVE in common. LOL)

So from us to you, belated…

...Happy 빼빼로 Day!

Horizons

I made use of the above title because it’s my favorite word for the week (and maybe the rest of my life, for that matter.)

Last week, I came across a song entitled Song of Jabez (sung by According to John) I remembered not so long ago, this passage from 1 Chronicles 4: 9-10 was an instant hit. Sermons in churches were about it – there was even a book published on this. It mentions the following:

⁹ Now Jabez was more honorable than his brothers, and his mother called his name Jabez,^[a] saying, “Because I bore him in pain.” ¹⁰And Jabez called on the God of Israel saying, “Oh, that You would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain!” So God granted him what he requested.

Good News and God’s Perfect Time

Agreeing that “All things work together for good…“, I thank God for allowing my early tummy ache which made me wake up early. With that, I was able to read my Bible early in the morning (which happened eons ago since I do it in the evening) and had an early devotion. Aside from the refreshment it brought, I was happy as I go on smoothly with my daily routine. No hurries, no worries.

Post-Christmas Post (Errr… Haha!)

A lot has happened this year – the global economic downturn, lots of celebrity deaths, local devastation brought by successive typhoons, political rivalries leading to deaths of the innocent… And those were just the highlights.

But as they say, you learn a lot from the journeys you take. All the experiences may not be good or seemingly beneficial but it brought a lot of realizations and values.

I thank God for everything – both the good and the not so good. These things made me assess what my goals are and how do I attain them; they also made me stick to my principles, not allowing them to be tainted by anything.

Anyway, this year may be struggling but it ended well for me (I hope it’s the same for everyone else.) One thing, I am so grateful for the Christmas parties and gatherings I’ve been to. Made me see the friends I have and the new people I’ve met which are bound to be. Hehe.

***

The Parties I have been to this year are as follows:

JCCI Christmas Party

EDI Christmas Party

Young Adult Christmas Party

The Edge Kiddie Party

***

We don’t know what 2010 holds for us. It may not turn out as we want it to be but every single day we have must be seized “because tomorrow’s unsure.” (Just copied that from some else tweet, I forgot who. Hehe.)

All the love!

Byebye, Team Mate!

We’ve been together for quite some time but last Thursday, my teammate, Mariel bid us goodbye to say hello to a new venture.

I will never forget how good she has been to me, teaching me the hoops and turns in recruitment and all the other processes in the nature of our work. She has been like an older sister to me (Sorry, girl. Hehehe. ) as she never failed to assist me and back me up on a whole LOT of things – things I don’t have any idea about.

Ngayon, I hope I could do well as she did. Shocks, naiiyak lang ako ulit. :’( I truly appreciate having Mariel around, not just as a teammate but as a friend. Though we are not of the same clique, hindi nya naman ako inaaway (Hehehe!) and we talk about several things, too, aside from work.

I will miss her: the rants, the OTs, the dinners during OTs, the cab services whenever we do OTs (Puro OT lang? ), the LOOOOOOOOOOONG group meetings, techie talks and troubleshooting, our agreement in filing leaves, etc, etc, etc. Kahit na sabi ko noon, ako dapat mauna mag-resign kesa sa’yo at di yun nangyari, ok lang… Haha!

Our Team: Myself, Mariel, and our Boss, SMS

And all I could say is I hope she does well with her new endeavor. I know that it would be a challenge but with her skills and work attitudes, it is not something which she could not do.

Break a leg, girl!

Why Sometimes You Would Just Want to Let Go of Being Filipino

This is not anything about my personal details. Haha! But anyway, here’s why…

Next year will be the 2010 elections. I know. I am 22 years old to date. I have been really excited to vote last 2006 because it will be the first election that I was supposed to join; that time, I was 19.

So there I go, in the COMELEC office of my city (Taguig) which is located at the Municipal Hall. We lined up for like one week just to have ourselves registered. We are young hopefuls looking forward to participating in such an important event as the elections. We would want to take part in selecting who we want to lead our locality and some of the to-be officials of the country. However, we failed. We thought then, we should have registered earlier. We did it the last minute because as students that time, a lot of deadlines were given to us.

Anyway, I wanted to change things and decided I should have myself registered for the 2010 elections. After all, this will be the time where I get to vote for the national officials I want to put to post – not only for the Senate but also for the highest position in the country – the President of the Republic.

Since June, me and few friends would go back and forth the COMELEC office in our city hall in Taguig. I usually schedule my leaves  before weekends since those are times when there is not much load in the office. And everytime I would go there, they would say that they are not open. What the heck! Shouldn’t it be that COMELEC offices in every locality open all weekdays???

Anyway,  after that, I scheduled my leave on either a Monday or Tuesday only to find out that there are cut-offs with the registration (Usually, they only allot 200 slots for registrants.) I again asked what the heck is wrong with them??? I’ve asked my friends from other localities if they have ever experienced such but to my amazement, most of them just told me that get to finish their registration for an hour or two and there are no cut-offs being imposed! GRRR…

But I didn’t lose Some other time when I get to file a leave, I again, went to the city hall early in the morning, in the hope of getting a slot. FAILED. I was there 7am and me and my friends were SOOOO far behind. We are really even surprised to know that some people are lining up 4am or 5am when the COMELEC office opens as they say at 8am. GOLLY!!!

Now, as I really feel almost hopeless, we didn’t have any options but as for help from someone working in the municipality to give us tips. FAILED again! Waited for nothing.

I am asking myself why I am so eager to be registered and vote. Looking around me, I find answers.

Sometimes,  I would just want to sob on all the leaves I have made just have myself registered and practice my right to choose a leader for this country. I would ask myself sometimes, “Why am I giving myself a hard time, anyway? Should I just be apathetic since the Philippines “has never improved”( as most people would say) anyway?”

Haaay… But then again, I don’t want to be part of that un-improvement my country is experiencing right now. I want to be a part of its change – for the good (If we cannot make it better yet.)

Right now, well… I don’t know if I can still make a leave from the office because of some changes that we will be having but well… There is one thing I am sure of: I really won’t let go being Pinoy. I still love my country no matter what and I will find a way to show that.

Photo Credits (without permission):

Philippine Center for Investigative Journalism

A Great Testimony from a Great Hero

Few days ago, former President Cory Aquino was laid to rest. Just as I was browsing my Facebook account, I stumbled upon this video as posted in the Emerge Network. I have embedded it from Youtube

Former Senator Ninoy Aquino, during his exile in the USA, guested in the 700 Club and imparted to everybody a wonderful testimony on how he came to know Christ amidst the things he went through.